Pieces of us

posted by Jeff | Sunday, August 17, 2008, 12:55 AM | comments: 0

Our wedding recon mission has been interesting thus far. I'm seeing pieces of Diana I haven't seen, and to a certain degree filling in the gaps about her that I'm not as familiar with. I'm showing her pieces of me that perhaps she hasn't seen before, given the emotional reality of what we're doing and its relation, or non-relation to my history.

The funny thing about meeting in your 30's is that you've got a lot to catch up on. After being together for a little more than a year, we've got the rough outlines for each other, with sections of detail that are of higher resolution than others. For her, I think she learned a ton by meeting various segments of my family, mostly in the last three months. I met much of hers last year (or subjected to, as she likes to put it), and then met her brother in Seattle this year. Coming to Ft. Myers and staying with her dad gives me additional context.

Diana hasn't been down here in more than a year, when her mom died of cancer. Arriving at the house, not surprisingly, was a pretty tough reminder for her. Planning your wedding and not having the person you're closest to has to be hard. I never got to meet her mom, obviously, but the stories her family has told me paint a pretty wonderful picture. I'm lucky in that respect that I'm able to construct a virtual memory that doesn't include those last few weeks, and if I could do anything for Diana it would be to do the same for her.

Also in those first two hours, the three of us started to talk about the planning process, who will pay for what and guest counts. It was at that moment that I started to think about something that I had largely just repressed. I've done this before, and I can't believe I'm in a position to do it again. I guess it opens an aging wound. I'm not bitter or angry, just sad. It's hard to get your head around getting divorced for some reason other than simply not liking the other person. Liking each other was never a problem for me and Stephanie. We had a serious expectation mismatch though, that's for sure.

But despite the emotional intensity of our first two hours here, the reality of why we're here takes precedence. Our first day of recon took us to three locations. The first sucked, the second wasn't bad and the third was pretty sweet. Tomorrow we see the place that could set us up on a yacht, which sounds pretentious, but on the surface it also sounds like a good deal. The cost makes me nervous regardless of what we do, but doing something memorable eases my pain. That, and we have a financial backer that wants to more than help (and actually that makes me uncomfortable too).

Now there's just a question of what Fay will do. Projected path is right over us, the eye hitting Tampa Tuesday night. If it gets far enough along and we can fly over or around it, we'll be good to go. If not, we could end up here an extra day. Good thing we've got a house sitter who is flexible!


Comments

No comments yet.


Post your comment: