I like hot sauce. I like stuff to be spicy. When I go to an Indian restaurant, I'm like, "Make that the hot curry, please." At Buffalo Wild Wings, I go as high as Mango Habanero, third from the hottest. Diana's "hot" is my "mild."
So today I notice on the Famous Dave's menu that they have something hotter available for their wings/boneless wings than Devil's Spit. I like the spit, but I wouldn't describe it as particularly hot. It's warm and cozy, like an electric blanket. (Do they still make electric blankets, or do they cause cancer too?) I figured if the sauce on the table is described as "hot," then maybe this other stuff is hot the way I'd like it.
The waitress offered to get a sample, but I figured, whatever, I'll just get it. How hot could it be?
The boneless goodness comes out, and I eat one. Definitely a lot of heat, but that's good, that's what I wanted. I eat a second, and I notice that my nose is starting to run, and eyes are starting to water. I start swishing the soda around in my mouth, and the burn isn't going away. For reasons I don't understand, I eat a small, third one. At this point, I'm ready to admit that I made a serious mistake.
The next time the waitress swings by, I tell her it's just inedible, and hope she'll replace them with a new batch that has Devil's Spit. It was my own fault, but she was sympathetic, and I got the replacement. It's the first time I've tried something hotter that I couldn't handle. The last time was when someone gave me an "atomic" wing at Quaker Steak. It burned my lips and my ass by morning. Yikes.
I'm concerned that there is gastric distress in my future. The worst part is that I think it was still delicious, despite the discomfort.