On being present

posted by Jeff | Tuesday, July 16, 2013, 10:07 PM | comments: 0

I was listening to a tech podcast on my first day of driving toward Florida, and the issue of technology and information getting in the way of real life came up. One of the panelists, a mother of young children, said that she suddenly realized that she was missing the life that was happening right in front of her when her 3-year-old told her to put her phone down. Then she ranted further when she noticed others were even bigger offenders all around her.

Most of what she was talking about was being present, in the moment in front of you, instead of constantly checking your e-mail, or Facebook or whatever. She said she sees it everywhere, and it's not making society better. The worst I see is when people aren't engaging with people in front of them in some kind of service transaction. That drives me nuts. But I also see it happen in face to face social situations, like dates at restaurants. That's completely ridiculous.

I have to admit that I have been that way at times, particularly when I'm bored. I hate to say it, but I've done it a lot recently while Simon plays with his toys. I'm not proud.

Here's the thing, I'm not suggesting that the technology is bad. I think the Internet and nearly ubiquitous access to it is incredible (even if it is largely squandered by the population at large). What I am saying is that it bothers me that people don't seem content to put down their fucking phones and see what's happening right in front of them.

Last month, while flying, I actually made it a point to just people watch at the airport, instead of getting out my gear and looking at things that could wait, or certainly didn't matter that much. It sounds silly, but I get some amount of joy in seeing families together, or a mother bouncing her baby, or a senior couple helping each other out. There's a lot of beautiful humanity to see if you look.

Maybe what I really don't understand is the need to be so connected that it becomes necessary to process everything in real time. Yes, I've run to reply to a text message right away, but even that I'm trying to back off of. Several years ago, I drew the line at e-mail, and I won't look at work e-mail on my phone. I won't be that guy when it comes at the expense of being present. Nothing is more important than what's happening right in front of you.

Try it. Turn all that shit off on your phone. Don't respond to any kind of notification beyond an actual ring indicating a call. Check up on the digital realm at an appropriate time, or a break in the action. Don't do it every time it vibrates.

It's liberating not to be over-connected.


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