Tyler's post about going to the "big city" for a potentially life-changing employment opportunity really got me to thinking about those kinds of situations. Kara up and moved to the twin cities for a similarly radical change (though she insists she's not fully made the independent transition). With my own retrospective through ancient e-mail, I realize that I've not taken the same kinds of risks. That's not regret, but rather surprise and revelation.
The fact that being with me, who was rather inflexible at the time, meant that Stephanie couldn't pursue big opportunities is something that caused a certain amount of resentment. It's weird how I, on the other hand, was just content enough to be with someone. That was a big change for me over a few years before that, when I was ready to move to Billings, Montana, if it meant getting a full-time radio job. I don't think either one of us had any idea what we really needed and wanted out of life, but at the same time we weren't really finding the experiences to find out either. I take most of the responsibility for that, though I leave her with the responsibility of not fully communicating her needs as well. The net result is that we didn't allow for the change process until about ten years later, when we split.
I got there the hard way, but now I see how you need a willingness to really take a risk and expect some failures along the way in order to get as much as you can out of life. The challenge in that I think comes from imaginary constraints that we put on ourselves. Tyler is letting it all hang out, letting go of his small town comfort (though it helps having a very willing partner, now wife, who will share the risk). Diana up and moved to New York having never been there to work in theater. Kara moved several states away to work in her industry. These are all examples of letting the physical constraints go. I applaud that.
Today I wonder if I'm still imposing constraints on myself. Between buying a house and getting laid-off, all within a few months from each other, I think I was stunned into thinking the world was too dangerous. But these days, even with a relatively shitty economy, it doesn't seem so impossible to just start something new. Granted, getting married to someone as amazing and supportive as Diana makes that a whole lot easier, but I think I was ready to pursue something next level even before we met. The sweet part now is that I get to share it with someone.
So to all my younger friends... good luck. Persist. March on. Know that your own experiences can influence even someone who has a decade on you.
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