We had a pretty awesome Christmas this year, in part because I think Simon is finally playing along with the idea of Santa and such. Diana agrees. I think we're a bit more cautious about gifts for him than other parents might be, and it comes down to a few core things:
- We emphasize experiences not stuff. We don't even buy each other much of anything, instead opting for travel spending. Simon may remember certain toys, but he still talks about places we went a year ago, and I think that's what sticks with him.
- Maybe it's his ASD issues, but this isn't a kid who seems to need a lot of toys. I've seen him lock on to a single thing for hours, perfectly content. I don't know that more would be better with him.
- More than anything, we don't want him to have the expectation that he simply gets what he wants. I don't think we need to worry about that, because even though he understands that we buy things from stores, he rarely asks for anything. When he has, we've made agreements (around things like potty training or chores).
- And of course, we don't want him to believe that Christmas is simply about getting stuff. We might not be super religious, but I don't think you have to be in order to understand the underlying spirit of the holiday.
I know it comes off as judgey (now judge me for making up a word!), but I find it a little weird the way some parents just go nuts buying stuff for their kids. I'm sure that much of it has a short shelf life. I kind of associate it with the participation trophy phenomenon, that they get stuff just because they're your kid.
To be honest, we don't spend a lot of time thinking about this, it's just the way it plays out. There was a period of time where we wondered if we didn't buy the kid enough to stimulate his development, but fortunately his former therapist made some suggestions.