A dark anniversary

posted by Jeff | Tuesday, April 22, 2008, 5:21 PM | comments: 0

Saturday will be the three year anniversary of one of the worst days of my life, when Stephanie and I split. I can't even put into words how much that sucked.

It's amazing that you can endure something so horrible and in the long run be able to accept it, process it, and even realize that it really was a good thing. The hardest thing is that at the time of something horrible, especially a major relationship event, you can't possibly see clearly enough to realize it is the right thing. The sadness, panic and fear are too overwhelming. If someone could have predicted my 2008 reality on that day, I would have told them it was impossible.

But here I am three years later, with a couple of decent relationships under my belt, and one that hopefully is the last one I ever need to worry about. The change in my life has been extraordinary, and the decisions were mostly mine. The break up was frankly a catalyst for a great many things that I decided to do.

I'm thankful for the way things turned out, and I wouldn't trade any of it. Stephanie and I had a good run, and many, many good years together. I'm happy she's able to live independently and with a view of the mountains (OK, I'm jealous of that part). I don't hold any bitterness or resentment. I've had one amazing experience after another since that time, and I anticipate many more.

It's hard not to think of the way I felt that day, but I can't ignore how much I've lived in the last three years, and the joy that has come with that time.


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