I feel like there's a good chance that the string of weirdness and discontent I've been experiencing is coming to an end. On the work front in particular, it seems like I'm getting calls for real gigs again. It seems like there are opportunities on the horizon.
Some of that is self-made. For example, today I did a post on my tech blog, for the express purpose of getting the attention of a certain person at a certain company in Redmond (since such posting is part of the gig), and I got his boss to Twitter about it in under 15 minutes, which of course he got too. The initial plan was just to produce something timely and job appropriate, but this turned out way better.
Yesterday I had a phone screen for a local gig, and it actually asked good questions that didn't require some encyclopedic knowledge of MSDN. That alone gives me confidence that it's a good company. It also surprised me because, holy crap, I've been doing this for a really long time and I know this stuff. I guess I just didn't realize it.
In my own business, I will reach an incredible milestone this month. For the first time ever that I wasn't working, and relying entirely on the business, I'll have a positive cash flow. What that means is that I'm making enough money to cover the mortgage and monthly expenses, but that's it. Obviously I'm not paying on the honeymoon debt or anything. But still, I've worked my ass off to improve CB (and figure out how to optimize advertising on PB as well), so the sense of accomplishment is important to me. To be trending up in visitors and page views makes for great affirmation.
I did a budget for IAAPA coverage, some rough ideas about what to cover, and I'm looking into sponsorships. If I can nail even one, I'll pull the trigger and commit before I get the rest. I've been talking with someone out west about being the producer/talent too (from the tech media circles) so I can raise the quality level a bit. Bottom line is that if I commit, I want it to be the best show coverage on the Internet, period. That's phase two of my CB revival plan, and also satisfies my desperate need to do more video work.
Meanwhile, in the personal realm, I'm starting to settle into the pregnancy thing. I have a lot of anxiety wrapped up in Diana's health, and the baby after that, but I'm trying to accept that nature generally does a pretty good job with this. With the issues in the last few weeks, I think my mind had just been trained to expect the worst, and the reality is that the worst isn't happening, and odds are against it happening.
All of that physical manifestation of stress is I think finally starting to subside. The bizarre rash relapsed, but is going away, I'm starting to sleep pretty solidly with dream time and I'm not constantly tired. I'm still having digestive issues, but I know that's partially because I'm not drinking enough water or eating enough fiber. Sure, I've been sticking to the old points system, but you can still game it and eat crap. It's true, you can lose weight by eating less crap! But Hot BBQ sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings is delicious, so what are you gonna do?
I'm not sure what to do about the Disney World trip we'd like to take, in part because it's the last week of Diana's second trimester (typically they say no flying after that), and there are the what-if's about having a job, especially if I cover IAAPA two weeks before that. Plus if we book and the baby (or baby doctor) says we're grounded, then what? How'd it get so complicated?
So life feels like it has forward motion. I'm doing stuff every day, and enjoying it, while keeping an eye on the future. The stagnation I felt in the early part of the summer is going away.