After further review, my ADHD isn't really better

posted by Jeff | Tuesday, May 3, 2022, 11:45 PM | comments: 0

In my previous posts about taking buproprion for depression, I've indicated that I think it's helping with the ADHD as well. That's an off-label use, and while the chemistry makes sense, there isn't a lot of quality data about whether or not it works for that.

After further review, I don't think it's having a huge impact for me. I can't objectively measure it. On one hand, the treatment for depression is so obvious and dramatic (to me, at least), that comparing to any ADHD improvement is unfair. On the other hand, whatever I may have perceived could be a placebo effect. I want it to work, so I think it might.

The last few nights I've been reading various things about some coding tech I would like to use. It has been rough, to say the least, where I read one thing which spawns a question I need answered that instant. Before I know it, there are a dozen tabs open and I don't even remember the question.

There are some structural things I observe about these learning efforts. What I'm experiencing is the reason I was not a sophisticated programmer when I started around 25 years ago. I wanted to get to the results quickly, and there was no time for detail in a subject that is hardly simple. College and high school was like that, too. I see it in Simon constantly.

However, there is a point where the stereotypical hyper focus kicks in. Staying with software, let's not forget that I wrote an entire programming book myself, and it didn't even require a lot of copy editing. I could do that because by that point I had mastered the thing to an extent, and I could blitz through one chapter after another, driven by the outcome. In more recent years, that's why I have MLocker and my little game Phrazy.

I think it's a little better, but again, it's hard to measure. And as I've said before, it can be useful sometimes. The hyper focus in those certain situations is fantastic, I just can't choose what to use it on. It absolutely can make me more creative, because I iterate through so many possibilities that good things come from nowhere. It's also useful as a manager sometimes, because I can context switch quickly, and knowing I want to move on drives me to outcomes consistently.

At the moment, I just wish I could concentrate on this thing and learn it.


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