We finally got the Christmas tree down today, and by "we" I mean Diana. Decorating is wholly her thing, not because I'm disinterested, but she's organized, deliberate and in control of the process. I dunno, I like that. I help out when asked and get out of the way. But we weren't in any real hurry, because we love Christmas, and with Simon and Diana being sick, frankly it was nice having something celebratory for a little while longer while everyone was stuck in the house.
This bout of nostalgia and afterglow makes me think a lot about Simon growing up. The holiday season, from mid-November to early January, certainly comes with associative memories. While many in the middle part of my life thus far aren't great, those with Simon have been extraordinarily memorable. Being a year apart, they also serve as a mechanism to understand just how much he's growing up, and it's happening really fast.
Since he's feeling better, Simon is being very physical with me. He doesn't intend to hurt me, this is just his sensory issue manifesting itself as hitting and debilitating strikes to my junk. He's been so stuck in the house, without much physical input, and that's driving his brain's desire to fill his sensory diet. Sometimes I try to restrain him, but I realized today that it's getting harder and harder. He's just too big. I think Simon is just over 44 inches now, closing in on four feet. Just under five years ago, I could football hold him.
The good news is that when he's very tired, or sick, he's quite the cuddle monster, which is such a relief given the SPD and ASD challenges. But even there, you realize that Simon is getting big. The small blankets we could both cover up in aren't big enough anymore.
I know it's me being dramatic, but I feel like he's going to be driving a car before too long. He won't be pulling my hand, dragging me through Magic Kingdom to Thunder Mountain forever. It's funny how as parents we do the same thing he does. He wants to simultaneously assert his independence, while wanting our help. I want him to be more independent so I can do other things, but I want him to need me. It feels like this window is really small.