Asshole neighbors

posted by Jeff | Sunday, April 6, 2008, 12:26 PM | comments: 6

I've mentioned many times over the last seven years how I have some real asshole neighbors with an asshole kid. It all began before we had lawns and the woman was washing the dirt off her driveway twice daily, when it would blow back, and there was a drought. Moron.

Then there was the time the kid was kicking a ball around between the houses and hitting mine. Or the time he would leave shit at my front door, ring the bell and run. That was the only time I've ever talked to either parent, or in this case yell at the woman and tell her I'd call the police if I ever caught the little bastard vandalizing my landscaping again. Then there's that fucking yip-yip dog that barks every time we go in the hot tub.

But that's the extent I've had contact with them. I can't say I've ever done anything (that they'd know about ;)) to piss them off. So while we were in Vegas, Cousin Dave was coming over to feed the cats. One day the snow was out of control, and he wasn't going to get into my driveway. But of course the anal-retentive assholes next door were snow blowing it in real time. So he pulled in and asked if he could park there for half an hour. He explained who he was to the dude, and the dude asked, "You mean the guy who lives next door?" He paused, thought about it, and said, "No."

What the fuck is that about? Your kid, dog and driveway washing wife are assholes, and you penalize my cousin for it?

There's one in every neighborhood. Fortunately the old folks next door are very nice.


Alex, April 6, 2008, 4:45 PM #

I think my parents are sort of like this. Let me tell you, its even freakier listening to them rationalizing their actions every day.

CPLady, April 6, 2008, 9:12 PM #

Luckily, I've had great neighbors on either side of me.

My mom has mostly good neighbors, except for a couple who lived behind her and were total asses. An older gentleman is living there now, but with mom's Alzheimer's, she's convinced he's "doing things", his adult kids who come over drive on her grass and he dumps things in her yard, none of which is true.

She's turned into the paranoid and bitchy old lady where he's concerned. I feel sorry for him.

Eric, April 6, 2008, 11:04 PM #

Neighbors? What are those?

, April 7, 2008, 1:34 PM #

Have you heard of the show Dexter??

maenad82, August 12, 2008, 6:31 AM #

I just had a run in with my asshole neighbor. She's the president of our condo board, and don't her piss glitter? Her friend parked his truck in front of our driveway, so I couldn't back out. I left a note explaining that a) he shouldn't be blocking a driveway and b) he's also blocking the lane, as well as c) the rules are for everyone. So she bitched me out, she said it was a contractor's truck. No excuse. So I'm going to phone condo management tomorrow and complain.

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