I'm feeling very motivated to write this evening. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm in a dark hotel room, with Simon sleeping in the corner in a crib. I recently made a status update to Facebook where I indicated that I didn't feel like I had anything to say lately, and just haven't been able to get my words out. A surprising number of people responded, saying they thought that was unfortunate. I've been trying to figure out what to do with that.
When I look at the post count on a monthly basis, I can clearly see that the number of posts I was writing started to drop off after my paternity leave in 2010. (Shit, it's weird to think about 2010 in the past sense. Where's my flying car?) The latter part of 2011 was even worse, even while I was in the midst of more intense life changes.
Yes, some of the issue has been time. Having a little guy definitely takes a lot of your time, and leaves you feeling a bit tired at times. We were talking today about how it's starting to get easier though, and I imagine that situation will continue to evolve.
I think the bigger problem that I've been having is that I have been second-guessing virtually every little thing that I do, ranging from the move back to the choice of background colors on my phone. I guess I don't see the value in sharing some of what I used to write about, though the response on FB implies that those concerns are unfounded.
A little of it is probably issues of privacy, too. I've often written about how I filter a great deal, and most people don't have all of the context or information to really know anything about me. I've turned up that filter quite a bit, probably in part because I have a child now, and partly because I just like to hold some things a little closer.
Still, one of the things my friends have made me realize (and I refuse to think of them as an audience), is that there might in fact be value in compiling some of my writing into a book one might loosely categorize as a "self-help" book. It would be something of a very long letter written to my 21-year-old self. "Shit You Should Know." OK, that's not a good title, but you get the idea. It would have to be framed as something that helps you in all of life's ridiculous situations. I fully expect you have to fail and flail, but maybe the book would help you at least realize when you're doing it.
I think there's some merit to the idea. Rework is just an edited collection of blog posts (with illustrations!), so I think there's potential. The question I ask myself is: Do I want it enough to make time for it?
Hi Jeff,
This is the first time I'm commenting on your blog and I'd like to explain why.
I stumbled across your blog (I think from pointbuzz, but can't remember) and have been an avid reader since I don't, 2006/07. Yes, I've been following your blog for that long without commenting, but please don't mistake me for some kind of creepy stalker or something. ;)
I don't remember the first post I read on your blog, I don't know you and you don't know me, but there was something in your post that was humorous and thought provoking. Whatever that content was it was enough for me to visit your blog on a regular basis.
I suppose it has taken me this long to comment because I didn't want to appear as some out-of-the-blue anonymous weirdo, which you may think I am. I assure you I'm not. I was just a former Cedar Point employee/coaster lover that happened to click on a link that led me here.
My point in commenting now is, I just wanted to tell you that I have enjoyed reading your blog. I can relate to a lot of what you write even without knowing you personally. Your content is never dull, so please don't stop writing. I know this might sound so strange. I almost feel embarrassed for waiting this long to comment.
With that said, if I can sum up what I'm really trying to say--you have an audience. You may not know it, as there might be people like me who have been too much of a coward to speak up. Thank you for sharing bits of your life and adventures with perfect strangers. Most of all, please don't stop writing and sharing your thoughts. You might sometimes feel like you have nothing to say, but what you've already said has made a great impact.