I've had some struggles with Simon lately. The biggest one is that he just doesn't want to eat for me. What makes this particularly difficult is that it's the one thing I'm not very patient with. I have infinite patience dealing with sleep issues, play time, crying in the car seat, etc., but I react emotionally when he won't eat. I suppose that's because it involves two of the things I worry about the most with regard to his upbringing: having a present daddy and not having food issues.
I probably over-think it, and I know it. I also know that I'm projecting my own issues. I don't mind that I have limited time with him after work, but I do wish I could see him in the middle of the day, even for 15 minutes, just so he could see I'm around.
On the positive side though, the vacation was a lot of fun with him. He recognizes me as his official photographer, and always smiles and poses for me. We have good times horsing around in the stroller too. He even slept in my arms, twice, on a couple of our flights. Today we watched him deliberately play peek-a-boo behind his burp rag. It's pretty thrilling to see that.
He's growing up so fast. At dinner yesterday, I was observing a family with two girls, and thought about how they're dealing with a teenager who was visibly not comfortable in her own skin, and a grade schooler who was outwardly testing social boundaries. And I thought, shit, is Simon really that far away from those stages? He's really not. He's quickly closing in on his first birthday already.
I'm in awe on a daily basis over the intensity of being a parent. It might scare the hell out of me a lot of the time, but there's no denying that it's a pretty awesome thing to be. I'm grateful every single day for it, and for having an excellent partner.