Breastaurants

posted by Jeff | Thursday, October 15, 2015, 5:00 PM | comments: 0

I'd like to think that I'm a fairly open-minded guy when it comes to sexuality. I honestly don't care what people are into or who they are. I've never took issue with homosexuality. If people choose polygamy, or engage in polyamory, I'm OK with that too. As a coach, boyfriend, husband, etc., I've always been very "girl power." I don't think that feminism necessarily means being devoid of sexuality or that there isn't any power in it when viewed in the context of being a cultural minority. The existence of porn doesn't bother me either.

What is it then about "breastaurants" that bothers me? You know what I mean... places you go to eat where the servers are all women, generally above average attractive or otherwise lacking coverage of their attractive parts. It's not a sense of discomfort, more of a feeling like we as human beings are beyond this. The feeling seems to conflict with my above statements about how I'm generally OK with all of the above.

Mind you, there are different levels to this. You have Hooters, which has shitty food and servers in tight tops and little shorts. This week I was introduced to Wing House, which apparently is a franchised thing, and that involves tank tops and butts hanging out of even smaller shorts, with some kind of hosiery presumably because, well, they do serve food. More mediocre food, though not outright shitty like Hooters. Then you have something a little more classy like Brick House, which has really good food, and more covered but strikingly attractive women who were not hired strictly for their ability to carry food.

Maybe it's the damage of my youth, where I didn't think attractive girls would talk to me (largely because, as I eventually figured out, I didn't talk to them). Perhaps it's me who finds it insulting that the secret to solid tips and acceptable service is flirting with me. It doesn't even seem like blatant objectification to me, it just feels... silly. Perhaps it just isn't my thing, as I'm more interested in dramatic hair color, unique but cute clothes and some degree of tattoos and piercings. Throwbacks to 70's Playboy models, not so much.

I don't know how I'm going to earn my dirty old man card with this view.


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