I'm not sure when it happened exactly, but at some point after college, the holiday season started to suck. Somewhere along the line the joy turned into dread. My family made it a time to bitch about their lives, while Stephanie's made it a time to keep score on gift giving. Steph and I did the best we could to make it special for us, but it wasn't easy. Then the last two years, needless to say, were really hard for me.
This year I'm trying to fight through the dread (partially caused by seasonal affective disorder I'm sure), and figure out how to make it something good again. It helps that I'm dating someone who loves Christmas, that's for sure. I don't want to be down the last six weeks of the year anymore.
Perspective is key. People often theorize that you can't know happy without knowing sad, and I've seen my fair share of sad the last couple of years. I used to think that comparing my sad to others' helped establish the perspective, but you can only relate so much to what others go through. Everyone has a different reality.
I like how my life is going lately, but I do need to figure out how to change this season into something positive. I think I can do that with help from Diana, because she's got my back, and she's generally merry to begin with. How could you not respond to that?
So while she helps me with the external factors, I'm going to work on the internal factors. Hopefully that will put it all together to change the season into something better than what I'm used to the last few years.