I have had, several times in the last few weeks, a feeling of gentle comfort and joy in various places in my house. The other night I came downstairs and sat in my office behind my computer, to do a little writing, and I looked around and just kind of felt good about where I was. I've had little moments like that, which is somewhat reassuring because unfortunately we'll be spending a lot of time here for at least the next six months. Feeling comfortable and a certain peace is going to be a necessary goal at home.
We've almost lived in this house now for three years, and I remember having a little bit of unease when we pulled the trigger on building it. We had legitimate reasons, in that I wanted a bigger office to stretch out in given my remote worker status, and Diana needed more room for her giant quilting machine. Then when we found the floorplan and oriented it on the right lot, the benefits of extraordinary amounts of sunshine filling the living areas every afternoon made my vitamin-D needing, SAD-enduring self very happy. The short-term financial discomfort from a false start on selling the previous house took almost a year to resolve, but once that was done, the stress and purchase regret were gone.
Without the traveling we like to do, plus remote work, Diana essentially not having a job until this all passes, school happening at home, being in swamp-ass season, I'm really glad we have the space now. For the first time in my life, I have a house that isn't a cause for stress and isn't a financial burden. It only took 26 years of adulting, a recession, a housing market bomb and six moves!
Knowing we're going to be here, a lot, makes me want to enhance it (mostly by increasing the patio size and enclosure), but with the economic environment, I'm kind of scared to devote five figures to that kind of endeavor. Even with a good job at a company that is strangely thriving, it feels like the only responsible thing to do is hoard money just in case. Maybe as the months go on, I'll change my stance on that. For now, I'm very grateful for the situation we have.
It's a weird time, and this year will likely be the first one in seven that I haven't left the country, and probably the first in my adult life that I haven't left the state I live in. OK, technically that's not true, I went to the Cleveland in the first week of January for a conference. But it was Northern Ohio in January, so it shouldn't count. But when the pandemic is mostly over, I promise to spend liberally to support theme parks, cruise lines, Broadway and those silly shops in Skagway, Alaska. Until then, home is cozy, and I'm going to try and like it here as much as I can.