Coming unhinged for no good reason

I really let stupid things get to me, and there's this weird feeling of doom I can't shake.

First off, work isn't really bothering me in any particular way, aside from the commute. But there are other things. For example, I found a site today that, in my opinion, infringes on my POP Forums trademark. I sent them a C&D, but it's not like I can afford to sue them or anything. That really got under my skin.

Then I talked to my mom, who apparently wasn't listening when I told her weeks ago I was going to Indiana, and leaving Friday night, because she wanted to have dinner while they were in town for my cousin's wedding. Then she seemed annoyed when I said she'd have to come to Orlando when I'm down there because I'll be busy and can't block out a half-day to travel out to her. I guess that bothers me because if it was important to see me, why did she book all of her time here seeing former co-workers and friends? I don't know why I let my family's indifference toward me bother me (except when they want something from me), but I'm sure they see it as indifference toward them. There's no point in getting into that drama.

I've been all tweaked out about the event this weekend, though not any particular thing. I mean, it's essentially done. I show up, hand out tickets, get drunk in the evening.

Then there's this strange, lingering sense of impending doom that is completely unfounded as far as I can tell. Generally speaking, life is going pretty well for the most part. Job I like most (or some) of the time, lovely girlfriend who loves me, a productive streak on my own projects, etc. I certainly don't have anything to complain about.

The source of the dread I think is that I'm just conditioned to expect things to go horribly wrong. How unfortunate is that? A tinge of that comes from the fall, as it seems every other fall has been traumatic. 2001 was 9/11 and my first lay-off, 2003 was another lay-off, 2005 I was facing the world alone, I guess it just feels like something bad is supposed happen. Maybe the almost-didn't-happen IAAPA thing set that thought process into motion.

Bottom line is, I need to fucking snap out of it. Life is pretty good, now I need to grab it by the balls and make it my bitch. (That's not a very good metaphor.)