I went to Bob Walsh's wake today. He was Tim's dad. I was surprised to see that, for the most part, the general feeling in the room was fairly upbeat. Not a lot of tears. Given the nature of Alzheimer's, frankly I suspect it was kind of a relief.
And what an enormous family too. Six kids, 14 grandkids, and three great grandkids. Can you imagine seeing 23 human beings in your life that you had direct responsibility for their existence? That seems staggering for me to think about! There were many pictures there, and it was fairly obvious that people loved the guy dearly. What he did for a living, or how successful he was in life, I don't think mattered that much, not when you were surrounded by so many people who cared about you.
Aside from meeting him a few times at Cedar Point, I really didn't know him. I probably had not even seen him in five years or so. Lois tells me the disease was not kind, but he fought it right until the end, living about five days longer than the doctors had expected.
Naturally I write about this here because of its effect on me. I've been to one funeral in my life, my great grandmother's when I was in high school. I've been to one other wake, for one of my former bridesmaid's mom, though she was cremated, and her family was small, so it was a very different experience. The truth is, these kinds of things make me extremely uncomfortable. I'm not sure what to say or how to act, especially when one person is laughing and the next is crying. Even more strange is that I'm there more to show support for a friend than pay my respects for someone I didn't really know. It's all so surreal.
Death is very much a part of life, and I accept that it's inevitable. I'm pretty sure there's a higher power, hopefully an afterlife, but even if there isn't, I accept that there's nothing I can do about it either. I don't bother myself with "What's the point?" questions because they aren't helpful.
I think if I manage to be a husband and good father, that's the most I can hope for. Or if not hope for, make it happen. That seems to be what previous generations have done.
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