The New York Times published a very excellent article about the way that ADHD is perceived and treated, and how it might not be right. It's a long but fascinating read, and the end comes to an interesting place. While the condition is often viewed as primarily biological, there's more evidence that environment plays a role not in causing it, but surfacing the symptoms. More to the point, it explores the idea that hyperfocus is not necessarily a symptom, but the context of the environment and task makes it easier for the brain to engage in the activity. Stuff that is intrinsically motivating is easier to do. Duh, right?
Maybe, but what I get out of it is that every brain is wired a little differently in terms of what it finds stimulating or interesting. Using my own college experience as an example, I went to intro to psych exactly four times, and got a D+ or C-, I think. On the other hand, I got an A in Broadcast Law, the most notoriously difficult class for radio/TV majors (I blew the curve, sorry, classmates). How do you account for this? I didn't know at the time that I had ADHD, but one class I resented having to take at all, the other was fascinating to me. And it wasn't necessarily that way for all of my major classes, because I didn't much care for doing the work in many of those either.
This explains why school in general can be a struggle for some people, but the right job can lead to great success. The reverse is also true. The problem is that school, and indeed the world, are made for certain standards for social interaction, work terms, etc. Neurodiverse people, including those with ADHD or autism, operate differently, which is not the same as "worse." In fact, it makes you start to wonder why these are referred to as "disorders" at all. I get it, at some point you can consider these conditions as impairments, that's one of the things that the article explores in terms of where the line is for diagnosis, but if intelligence is otherwise equivalent, is it really a disorder?
Getting my diagnosis in midlife was life-changing because it gave me the grace to realize that some of my self-labeled deficiencies are not in fact personality flaws. Struggling to do school work always made me feel like an asshole, but now I understand why it was difficult. School was not well structured to meet me where my brain goes, and I see that even more so with Simon. More and more, I am realizing that trying to conform my brain to act neurotypical is a pretty broken way to live.
More and more, I find myself including these conditions as a part of my identity. It's what makes me different, and I shouldn't have to apologize for being different. It's not an excuse for certain behaviors, but it is an explanation. Sure, I've developed a hundred different coping mechanisms to better fit in a world not entirely designed for me, but I'm just so tired of my default being labeled a disorder. It's my "normal."
If it sounds like there's an underlying tone of anger, you are correct. Being different somehow pushes you down below where assholes are. There are a great many people like me and Simon who contribute a great deal to the world, and we're good people. When you look around and see people rise to power, despite being cruel, hateful, and frankly stupid, it's not a great feeling.
I have autism and ADHD, and those things contribute to who I am. I am not a disorder.
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