After living in the same town as one of my best friends from college, for the better part of like nine years, I finally ran into her and her family today at a local restaurant. She has two school age kids and a husband. It was weird and awkward. She didn't even introduce her husband. I've invited her to our parties and such over the years, but she never dropped by. First time I've seen her in probably ten years.
More important than who I saw was what I saw. A well-developed family, long standing established careers... safety. Radical change or mid-life correction for her would be hard, or maybe in her mind, even impossible. I'm not suggesting any unhappiness on her part, just that if it were there, it'd be a bitch to change.
And since it's all about me, this is obviously something I think about. That kind of change would be relatively painless and low risk for me in my situation. So why am I so incapable of acting where I know I want to make change?
It's fear, obviously. I'm not even sure what it's fear of exactly. Not only do I not have the family to put at risk, but even in terms of career, there's plenty out there for what I do. I think it's that the dreams I truly want to pursue just don't have enough definition. Let's face it, I've accomplished what I have largely by winging it. Taking that next leap isn't as easy to wing.
I'm still reminded though that awareness is half the battle. Knowing your fears and weaknesses is half beating them. There's something very empowering about that.