Feeling good about stuff

posted by Jeff | Friday, September 5, 2003, 11:29 AM | comments: 1
I realized on the drive to work this morning, a drive that I generally loathe, that I feel pretty good about life. I'm starting to feel passionate about stuff again. I haven't felt that way in awhile.

It's not that I've felt particularly bad or anything. Stressed out about stupid shit, yes, but not feeling bad exactly. There's a part of me that is kind of resurfacing. It's the part about taking on the world and enjoying the possibility that I can make it my bitch. I'm starting to care about things.

I think in part it comes from all of the people going back or going off to college. Stephanie is of course a grad student, and when she talks about going to campus (John Carroll, not CSU), combined with the cool fall weather, it reminds me of how I used to feel about it. To add to that feeling, I have all of these former volleyball kids and young friends who are going off to school.

In a way it's kind of disturbing, because I remember seeing 30 and 40-somethings when I was in school just totally beaten down without dreams or drive, and I promised myself I'd never get like that. I'm not quite that bad, but I think I've suffered from a little indifference the last couple of years. That's no good.

I feel good about a lot of things right now. My marriage, my technical achievements, this site, my overall position in life thus far. There are some things I need to work on, like not eating like an asshole, but the most successful people are always at least a little critical of themselves.

The thing I want to work most on right now is making time to enjoy myself. I've got my hand in a lot of projects right now, but I can't let that keep me from stopping and looking around every once in awhile. It's Ferris Bueller syndrome.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."


Comments

crazygrrl, September 8, 2003, 3:40 PM #

Don't let life beat you down, dear. Think about all the wonderful things that have happened in the past and will happen in the years to come. We're in it together, baby.

Post your comment: