Having good people around

In the last year or two, I've found myself feeling disappointment about disappointing people. Again, I understand I'm not puppies and rainbows to everyone, and that's fine. But whether it's professional leaders, relatives or public figures, it doesn't feel great when the people that you want to look up to, to be heroes in some capacity, let you down. So it shouldn't be surprising that when I find the opposite, I want to celebrate it.

Almost five years ago, we hosted a former server from the cruise line for a little less than 48 hours as she transitioned through Orlando to visit a friend in Columbia. It kind of happened by accident, when she told us about the then forthcoming end of her contract, and we invited her to stay with us for what amounted to an extended layover. She was no less delightful outside of work, and we periodically checked in during the pandemic (she was in the UK), and have been doing so ever since as she's moved around through Europe and Canada. Her next move was to eventually work in Sweden, but she stayed with us for a week before returning to Europe.

Kairi is originally from Estonia, and as an EU citizen can move around there as much as she likes. She also has residency status in Canada and the UK. She can pack up her life into three (very heavy) bags. In the last five years, she's seen even more, and quite honestly I kind of live vicariously through her and her travels. This sort of thing appears to force all of the perspective you think that it would, and I respect and value her opinions in a way that is different from others. She has more data, so to speak.

More importantly though, Kairi is a kind, empathetic and warm person who is easy to be around. She is charming, funny and authentic. We could talk to her for hours, and she's every bit as interested in you as you are in her. There's nothing transactional about her friendship. We consider her chosen family. Plus she's a cat person, so how can you not adore a person like that? If I could pick a favorite quality though, it's her ability to be optimistic and see the best in people. As an example, she pointed out that on paper, as a non-American, it wouldn't be unreasonable to write off our entire country as pretty terrible, given the outwardly hateful politics. But she's met too many Americans who are not that, and will also say that you can find similar sentiment in most nations, even if they're not as vocal about it. Humans of all kind looking out for each other is more the rule than the exception. I love that.

I've spent a lot of time in the last year trying to understand what fills my social cup, so to speak. Unsurprisingly, I find little value in settings with many people having trivial conversations (though I do still like to throw a party, now and then). Having deeper, more meaningful connections with people like Kairi, however, fills my soul. There are a small number of people in my life that have no specific expectations of me, and I don't have any expectations of them. And yet, despite this, there's a dynamic free of judgment, score keeping or status. Sometimes it's a person exactly my age in the same profession, sometimes it's a colleague that freely shares experiences, sometimes it's an Estonian in her late 20's that I have almost nothing specific in common with. Don't write off younger people, because they will surprise you.

Last night we dropped her off at Terminal C, in the cold, where she waved us off until we were out of sight. I'm sad to see our friend go, but even if it wasn't her intention, she gave me clarity about what's important. That's pretty great. Those are the people that I want in my life.