High school scares the shit out of me

posted by Jeff | Saturday, August 10, 2024, 7:16 PM | comments: 0

Simon begins high school on Monday. The passage of that time alone is hard to handle, but I worry so much about how it's going to go for him. Admittedly, some of that is me projecting. I didn't have a good time in high school. I never really found my tribe. I had a strange mix of casual friends ranging from coworkers at the Ames department store I worked at, a couple of cheerleaders, a few volleyball players and some video nerds. And I didn't exactly nail it in terms of grades. If it weren't for my ACT score (98th percentile), getting into any school may have been challenging.

My boy shows signs of great intelligence, but he has my biggest weakness, perhaps worse. I did not engage in things that I was not interested in. It's why I got an F and an A in the same semester in American Lit. At the very least, Simon has his ASD and ADHD diagnoses, so that's a known that I didn't have. He's going to be tested for dysgraphia in October, which would explain why it's so hard for him to write. It would make so much sense, because with the extra tutoring he gets in math, he gets it. Making him write long form narrative is the problem.

Socially, in a larger school, I hope that he can find "his people," though it didn't really help me in a school of 2,000+. Diana and I are going to offer help in the theater, and I'm trying to offer help with volleyball as well. Maybe that peripheral involvement will help him. He's shown a little interest in my lighting obsession. I need to be more deliberate in trying to teach him things. Also, as a student, I can probably use his ID to get the dongle to use the software that they have at his school. At the same time, I don't want to force it. I want him to do what he's interested in.

A lot of my anxiety here is certainly caused by the unknown. He could thrive, we don't know. But as a parent, I'm also thinking longer term. Will he be prepared to enter the workforce? Will he even consider college? I don't know.

Yet another phase of uncharted territory for this parent.


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