House stuff makes me sad

posted by Jeff | Saturday, August 14, 2010, 11:26 PM | comments: 0

We went out again today to visit the PEPS group (unofficially the hot moms club apparently, since I wore my I <3 Hot Moms T-shirt today). As Diana put it, getting out like this makes her feel normal, which is weird for me because I don't know what my normal is anymore, or what it was before. But despite the daily struggle to feel comfortable in my different life, it is in fact nice to get out and be social, and they're a pretty cool group full of interesting people.

But once again, when we get out to someone's house, it all comes rushing back that I have one, thousands of miles away, and that even when that one is sold, we'll still be a good year or more away from buying one here. It sucks, and I'm tired of it bringing me down.

I think the thing that a house represents the most for me is a place to be comfortable when other parts of the world are more chaotic. In fact, given all of the chaos in the last five or so years of my life, my house was the one constant, and I felt safe and at peace there. Divorce, relationships, unemployment, marriage, pregnancy... but just one house. It was just so damn comfortable.

A house here would be my chance to recreate some of that comfort, starting with a real room for Simon, an office/man cave room for me, a library and knitting room for Diana, a hot tub, real furniture not from Ikea... you know, a place to nest. There's a sense of urgency because this is just about the best time to get into a house you could possibly have.

I lose a lot of sleep at night trying to come up with some scheme to bank huge wads of cash in a short period of time. None really come to mind. It'd be nice to sell another domain name for $100k, but this ain't 2000, and lightning rarely strikes twice. I have some ideas that I think are solid, but making them happen with a day job and a baby is hard.

In any case, it's easy to get ahead of myself. First thing is first... I gotta get rid of that damn house. I don't want to see it when I visit Ohio in a couple of months.


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