No one ever really explained dating to me. I didn't have a real long-term, see most days, girlfriend until my senior year of college. When I had to date between wives, my approach was to get online and help my chances by going on as many dates as possible. I mean, sure, this worked, really twice. Catherine was a great find, even if we just weren't at the right life stages for each other. Diana obviously worked. Fortunately we met before the swipe culture started, which seems pretty lame and superficial to me.
But what to do I tell my teenager? I mean, there were two distinct times in college where I was lying in bed with a woman, and it never occurred to me that she might want to get down. I was so oblivious. I was even worse in high school, where the sum total of my experience was making out with a horny band geek for a couple of weeks.
There are certain things that are totally obvious, and I've already broached the subject. You don't hit women, you don't assume anything physical is OK, and you respect them. I've put those in the most direct and certain terms. But what happens if he says he likes a girl? What's next? I have no idea.
Instinctively, I would say, "Just tell her you like her," but that got me nowhere in my youth other than the friend zone. Apparently that level of honesty doesn't land. I think the right thing is, "Do you wanna go out sometime?" And beyond all comprehension, that's literally something that he can do because we've given him a car to use. Fuck, I may never get used to that. But that's what I did in my dating years, and I met his mom that way. I guess I can leave out the parts about the awkward first kiss and conversations about being naked. (Fun fact, we both thought that we were super into extra tongue when making out, when in fact neither one of us is into that. Dating is so weird.)
These are the things you probably don't think about when you decide to have a child.
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