I wonder if the fact that I generally feel like I have a lot of things going for me leads me to some aspect of my life that I have to find troubling, as if I need to have something that will worry or trouble me. Right now it's food. I loathe food.
I have this great paradox going that could cause existence to stop existing if I'm not careful. I love food that's not good for me, but it makes me feel bloated, overweight and crappy. So instead of finding better things to eat, I just rather not eat at all since I can't eat what I want. Nevermind that it's an opportunity to find better things.
It seems every night, after the cats have been fed, I sit there scratching my head (or my junk) trying to figure out what the hell to eat. A lot of the time I just settle on the same bland crap and call it a day so I can get on with my life and do other things. But that loathing and angst seems to come prior to every meal except for breakfast.
Lifestyle change is a bitch.
I hate eating, but I'm overweight. It's ironic, but something I'm working to change.
That being said, I find the process of eating just vile. I always feel bad after eating. I never feel nourished. I'm re-adopting the mostly protein diet as I continue to work out 3-4 times a day, just to get in better shape. Maybe I won't find it as disgusting.