I was chatting with a friend the other night about where we get inspiration from, and by extension what motivates us. It sounds sad when I say it, but there aren't many humans that I have really looked up to professionally. I can count them on one hand. There aren't many personally, either. It may sound a little dramatic, but people mostly have been a huge disappointment. Meh, the feeling might be mutual, and that's fine.
I was on quite a creative streak for the last few months, but after that first weekend of shooting for my documentary a few weeks ago, I kind of crashed. I've largely resorted to engaging in passive entertainment in my free time. That's not unreasonable, as one can't be "on" all of the time, but what inspires all of that output? I have theories.
One of the biggest influences on my creative endeavors is my mental health. This doesn't work the way you might think it does. Opposite extremes make things happen. In the first few months of the pandemic, I was making all kinds of things. I did a radio show and made some silly videos and wrote 12,000 lines of code for fun, all because I needed to do something to keep from going batshit crazy. But the opposite is true as well, because I spent the last year feeling the best I have in years, probably because of bupropion. I am less stressed, though occasionally anxious, and I'm interested in many things. So I make many things.
This is going to sound weird, but often it's the tools themselves that inspire me to do stuff. I love my cinema camera and all of the other gear. I love my laptop. I love the software that I use. I love the learning that I do by watching what others are sharing online. When you soak it all in, and have the tools, how could you not want to make things?
The biggest thing though is undoubtedly that I thrive on intrinsic motivators. That act of doing the thing itself is what inspires me. That might be why I admire artists that worry about integrity and authenticity, because few things feel as real as making something that didn't exist before you made it. I guess that's why I've always fancied myself a rock star. The integrity and authenticity of creation, not the fame and trashing hotel rooms.
I still wish that there were other humans that would inspire me, but I always come back to that core aspect of creation. I've made things that didn't exist until I made them. That's very powerful.
No comments yet.