It sure is fun to be me

posted by Jeff | Thursday, February 6, 2003, 12:57 PM | comments: 0

Why the fuck are we conditioned to think that if we like ourselves, enjoy who we are, enjoy the lives we have, etc., that we're supposed to feel guilty about it or are considered self-centered and such? What kind of crap is that?

It's fun to be me. Seriously, who wouldn't like a little more money, to weigh a little less or whatever, but I've got a good life. I'm married to my best friend, I have a nice little house, I have friends with common interests, I donate to charity, I get to do stuff I enjoy like coach volleyball, music I listen to still gets me pumped up, and dude, I have a fucking snow blower.

Stephanie wrote something in her journal last night about letting go of the things about yourself that you don't like, just to enjoy who you really are. I got to thinking about that, and fuck yeah, that's the way to live.

I don't understand this insane notion that if you like yourself, one of the following must be true:

  • You're self-centered or conceited.
  • You have disregard for other people and think you're better than they are.
  • You don't appreciate what you have.
  • You're over-compensating for your flaws or insecurities.

What a load of crap that is. I know that I don't proclaim to be the center of the universe, I generally don't think I'm better than anyone (well, except for stupid people, anyway), I'm thankful for everything I have and I'll be the first to come right out and tell you what my insecurities are.

So where does that leave me? Am I to wallow in self-pity and humble reflection? Fuck that... I will not be some asshole who lives their entire life apologizing for who they are. Best case scenario is that I've lived one-third of my life at this point, and I'm not about to waste the remaining two thirds feeling sorry for myself or thinking I'm not good enough for something.

Now of course, the irony in taking this approach to life is that you do think you're better than people who do not, but that's not really my problem, is it?

It's fun to be Jeff Putz.


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