I was talking to a friend today, divorced, who indicated that today was her would-be anniversary. Like a lot of divorcees, she believes that she's better off, and it was the right thing. But the date still makes her very sad. A lot of her well-meaning friends tell her, "Oh, it's just another day, nothing to be upset about."
But it's never "just another day." Not only is it OK to be sad about it, but I think it's the right thing to remember it. Conventional wisdom is that there is some binary condition when it comes to the sad things in your life, like they matter or they don't. I don't understand why we're so eager to dismiss the bad and only remember the good.
I know I've heard similar advice on my "ex-aversary," but it still makes me sad every year. Getting re-married doesn't make it all go away, and honestly, I wouldn't want it to. We had some good years and it's a permanent part of my life. The sad part doesn't take that away.
It's another example of how our relationships do not replace one another, but rather continually add to the mix of who we are. They take practice, and for better or worse, sometimes we need to get them wrong before we can really get them right. That process never stops, even when we're married.
Heh, try having your former anniversary on Valentine's Day. Seemed like such a great idea at the time. Now, not so much.
For me the issue isn't even completely tied to the relationship, per se. The entire concept of divorce is difficult on many levels. It's often those levels that I spend the most time on when "reflecting."
What a horrible thought to not have Happy memories that you miss and can feel sad about ..... after all, if there was nothing Happy in the past why did the end of the experience make you sad? Every day should be something special .... adding to your life experience and fulfillment.