Let the reflective posts begin!

posted by Jeff | Tuesday, December 26, 2006, 12:13 PM | comments: 0

You know how it goes around the new year, when everyone starts reminiscing and thinking about their lives. I figured I'd start to do this toward the end of the week, but the truth is that I'm already thinking about it.

Kevin Smith started a blog post about his fascination with Bruce Willis by talking about how lucky he is to have his life. I mean, listen to him gush about how great things are going for him professionally, not to mention he has a cute wife and adorable daughter as well. I'm happy for the guy (though I wouldn't want his weight problem), and it's inspiring to see someone who is so... inspired.

The scene he describes when waking up (though I can "see my cock" at least ;))... have you ever had days like that? I most certainly have, but maybe not to the extent that he's talking about. For him maybe it's a little easier, because he's doing exactly what he always wanted to do. With most people, what we want to do when we grow up is a little more fuzzy. It often starts out clear when we're young and stupid, but eventually most people get a little older and stupider and become a little more flexible to the possibilities. Wait, actually, that's smarter.

The last two years of my life have been, without question, the craziest of my life. In a relatively short period of time I've experienced everything from ultimate heartbreak to the most mind blowing joy (you know, the kind where your eyeballs roll back into your head... ;)). Professionally I've published a book, earned the respect of my peers, commanded big money and finally (recently even) figured out how to enjoy what I do. I brought two volleyball teams to levels they never thought they could reach (and I'm trying to forget one that had no desire to do anything). I financed new "toys" with the business and financially I've never felt better about things.

But I feel like something is missing, like I'm not quite ready to be totally happy. Maybe I'm still mourning the divorce. Maybe I'm a little scared about the future. It's all so exciting and yet unsettling.

And that was the recent realization I had. I feel like in many ways I've got a second chance at starting life, just like when I graduated from college. The difference is that this time I have a little more life experience, and I'm not do damn poor. Like I said... exciting and unsettling.


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