Aside from all the nerdy radio and TV stuff at AU, I talked to Gretchen at length about baby making and career changes. Her little guy is a year old now. She was, in my opinion, an incredibly smart TV reporter headed for huge "success" that was just about killing her in the process. Like so many of us, it just wasn't worth it to stay in the business.
She said that if you can get through the first three months of hell with a baby, the rest gets easier. She was adamant about making the point that she didn't think her and Ken were limited by being parents, but rather just had to approach the things they did differently. That's encouraging to hear.
We talked a bit about grad school as well, and dare I say that I finally get how it could be useful. Given my love for teaching and mentoring, yeah, a masters sure wouldn't hurt me. My total fantasy of teaching some kind of media related production classes and coaching volleyball at the college level could certainly be realized in that sense (both require graduate degrees). I just don't know if it's for me. I struggled to stay interested in school the first time around. At least for grad school you can get assistantships and not have to pay for it. But that's very much a plan B kind of scenario for me, I think.
Gretchen was a freshman when I was a senior, and I thought even then that she was more talented and would likely go further in the biz that I would. And that she did. But her story was also the perfect example of just letting the journey take you around without getting into specific expectations and time lines. Her and Ken didn't get married until several years of dating, and they put off a child until they were 31.
If I thought about those series of choices, even those that I've made, it sounded so non-committal when I was younger. Now I get it. It's not a question of whether or not you'll experience a great many changes, it's when. If someone could have told me that when I was 21 (and if I would've actually believed it, because I know people did tell me), I don't think I would've been so eager to set and try to achieve big life goals. I had no idea what the fuck I was doing back then, and I don't think anyone really does. I wanted to own a radio station by now, but the reality is that I'd never want to be in that business now. I thought I'd be married with two kids too, but holy crap, my life would've been way different, and I have no assurance that it would've made for a better life.
Putting this in perspective surprisingly puts me in the same position today. While a little more than a decade has passed, I'm starting to see that setting all kinds of big expectations and time lines is a complete waste of time, even as a 30-something. The more specific you try to be in your expectations, the more you may let yourself down.
So enough with that. I have no idea what next year may bring, and it doesn't matter.
"I'm starting to see that setting all kinds of big expectations and time lines is a complete waste of time, even as a 30-something. The more specific you try to be in your expectations, the more you may let yourself down."
I've learned that lesson big time in the past seven months or so. You never know what is going to hit and when.
It's best to just strap yourself in and roll with it, taking everything you've learned along the way to help you navigate as you go. With that mentality, tomorrow can seem kind of exciting.