I was thinking about how, at the moment, I want to simultaneously do all the things, and how, prior to the vacation, didn't want to do much of anything. Younger me would believe that this is some kind of personality flaw. Mature me knows that such a sentiment comes from the arbitrary expectations of a messed up American work ethic that has no boundaries. Also, ADHD, ASD, varying mental and physical health, etc. It's never simple.
I think midlife comes with a sense of urgency, and that doesn't help with the sentiment that you must do all of the things. Right now. I'm trying to get to a place where I accept that we're just not built that way. We can't be on all of the time, nor should we be. Engagement in all the things is variable, and not linear. I mean, if you want to use a sports metaphor, you don't run all of the time, you do it in bursts, and rest in between.
We have to figure out how to normalize this.