Few things to me, in this stage of my life, are as difficult as being mindful of the present. I'm sure I'm not alone on that. Like most people, I've spent much of the last year mostly looking forward to some future period of post-pandemic normalcy. The anxiety over that is still there, not because it's far off, but because we have the tools to get there now and a subset of the population is trying hard to mess it up.
There are other things that have me being future minded as well. I'm paying more attention to the fact that retirement, or at the very least, empty nesting, isn't all that far away. Financially, I'm closely watching to make sure that we're gonna be OK in our 60's and over. We're transitioning Simon to a private school next year (a separate topic itself).
Sometimes I get really stuck on the past, too. There are a lot of ridiculous things I can't let go of, like my bike being stolen when I was 16, or a former employer who screwed me over many years ago. These are not things that materially impact my life today in any way, but I'm surprised the way I still emotionally react to them.
I think some of this gets better in a vaccinated world. Simon's grandparents are no longer off limits. A number of friends are fully vaccinated. We can eat in restaurants, feeling like we have a super power. Maybe we can even leave the country for travel by the end of the year. There's a lot that's going well, right in front of us. Life's next curveball could come at any time, so logically, I know it's best to be present.
I sure sound like a midlife stereotype these days.
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