I had some pretty special travel this year. Las Vegas was incredible (even for 36 hours), Orlando was sunny again, got to the usual volleyball and coaster destinations, but never got back to Kauai as we planned.
I turned 30 this year. It stressed me out a little, but when Steph threw the ultimate party with the ultimate gift, I realized that I've been touched and influenced by so many good people, and hopefully I've done even a little of the same for them. I've had an incredible life so far, and I'm only one-third (at most) of the way done.
A roller coaster event turned tragic, but only reinforced the fact that you never know when it's your turn to go. That simple idea was lost on a community that becomes more embarassing to be a part of every year. I love my hobby, I love having a Web site that relates to it, but some days it's so hard to realize that a few morons don't represent the community as a whole.
I spent a lot of time thinking about the place that work has in our lives, as I've watched Steph do the same. The job that left me feeling empty all of the time finally let me go November 1, and I let it go soon after. For two months I've been happy, thinking about the options, and what it means to work for someone else. The conclusion is that it doesn't have to suck, and I can in the mean time sharpen my skills to make self-employment a reality. In the mean time, I have a new job that pays 50% more than my last one.
Eating and health is becoming more and more important to me. It's a hard adjustment, but I realize that I don't treat my body right. I've never considered myself fat, but it's clear I need to change my eating habits, and I've lost eight pounds since Thanksgiving. Now I need to eat right (not just less) and stick to regular exercise.
I've come to realize that technology excites me more than ever, and I think about it a lot. With that excitement I also recognize the need to just get the hell away from it from time to time.
I realized that friends come and go. Actually, I've always known that, I just forget sometimes to cherish and celebrate the times we had. Whether it's my best man that I haven't seen since my wedding day or newer friends I haven't seen in a couple of days, I've had real human encounters with them, the memories for which I'll always have. Some of those relationships will endure, others will fade away, but there are still hundreds of new ones to come.
Some friends turned out to be hopelessly lost in their own immaturity, others have grown up. Some of my past volleyball kids have gone on to do incredible things in their post-high school lives, others have done nothing. Steph made some friendships closer, while I've let mine become distant.
Most important is the ongoing discovery of how much I love my wife. After three years of being married and nine since we met, it never gets old. Every night when I get into bed I remember how lucky I am.
I was watching the news tonight, and ABC News had a ten-minute segment that kind of looked back at the year, in an historical context. There has been so much pain and suffering in the last year. Hundreds of our children were killed in battle, thousands of Iraqis were too, all for a war that was justified by three premises that have since not been true. Combine that with all of the natural disasters and other tragedies and I very nearly wanted to cry. The ins and outs of my life seemed unimportant in the shadow of a sometimes ugly world.
All of these images made me remember a time, a time only a few years ago, when I was so optimistic that I could change the world. The world hasn't so much beaten me down as much as it has given me little reason to hope anymore.
But while in Orlando, we saw the story on TV of the little girl who was attacked by a shark, in of all places our beloved Kauai. The 14-year old girl lost her arm, and she was destined to be one of the world's greatest surfers. When asked if she'd ever surf again, she smiled and said yes.
If a 14-year old girl can have that kind of optimism, there's no fucking reason why any of us should ever sit around and bitch about our lives. We can all make our lives something extraordinary... we just need to hang on to hope.
In 2004, I plan to hang on to my hopes and dreams. What will you do?