It has been a few years since I've led a team in my job, but it didn't take long to remember how much I feel more comfortable in that role. I once did that personality test that companies like to use with management types (which I find to be of marginal, if any value), the one with the color wheel and tendencies, and I was classified as a "directing motivator." It's like being a cheerleader who gets to call the plays on the field. Wait, no, I think that might actually be the coach.
In any case, I bring up the cheerleading, because even in just three weeks, I find myself doing it quite a bit. I didn't do it as much before. Heck, I'm not sure I did it enough with the last volleyball team I coached. It really didn't take a lot of soul searching to figure out what changed. I'm a father.
There has always been some amount of nurturing in my personality. In my college days it was to a fault when it came to relationships, wanting to help my female friends fix all of their problems (so they'd dump their asshole boyfriends for me, of course). At the start of my professional career, it was developing and growing a TV facility. Then there was the coaching, which mixes individual and group development. At some point in my 30's, I even started to learn how to nurture and care for myself, a skill I overlooked for too long.
Then came being Simon's father. I can see how easy it is to want to boost up your child and not let them fail, and maybe that's one of the reasons Simon is a little behind on some of his development milestones. But even with the adjustments we've made, allowing him to struggle and fail if it means learning, I constantly try to make sure I praise positive behavior and new achievement.
It only makes sense that it would carry over into work, and even relationships. People like to have a little validation now and then. I can admit that being satisfied with just being happy for yourself for what you can deliver is rarely the whole of what you need. Part of the satisfaction of work, relationships and even hobbies are that you're a part of something, making a meaningful contribution. Some portion of that satisfaction will always come from external sources, and being an agent of that recognition is itself a critical role.
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