One ring to rule them all

Deciding to get married is probably one of the most life changing things you can do. Even more strange is being in a position to decide it a second time, when you assumed there would only be one. Naturally that was a huge concern for me, and it's impossible not to spend a lot of time comparing notes with yourself to see how this time is different. My only advice is to others is that if you decide to do it just because it's the next logical step, or the relationship is a lot of work to maintain (or worse, is built on negative things like guilt, dependency, fear or a lack of trust), by all means, don't do it.

For us at least, I think as far back as October, it was obvious that this was working out better than either one of us could have expected. We met the last day of May, and from that point on saw each other at least once a week. By the third week of July there was Wednesday date day plus weekend stuff. Just before the new year, she moved in. Indeed, it was a situation of, "Why are we waiting longer?"

In March we decided to put some kind of rough time line together, targeting late winter/early spring of 2009 for a beach wedding, shoes optional. A fairly small number of people have already been invited, and we'll likely add to that list, but it'll be small. Shoes optional. We're thinking Florida gulf coast.

That meant there wasn't really any true surprise at that point. I'll never understand how guys just pop the question with no prior discussion, especially because that rock creates pressure that changes the rules, and I wonder if the woman is going to be that up to saying no. Meh, whatever, that's me projecting my way (the right way ;)) onto others.

In any case, we started looking around at rings, since people were already congratulating us. Diana is not the flashy jewelry type, which I now realize is actually very representative of what I find attractive. (Sidebar: Yes, I'm really into piercings, but if you think about it, piercing jewelry isn't flashy either, as it tends to be stainless steel.) She has tiny hands, so big rings look goofy on them, and when putting big stones on, they look even more goofy. A one carat diamond looks like she's compensating for something, if you can even apply that to women. I think as someone in a career stage where I could afford something big, I was thinking that bigger is better, but the more I looked at diamonds the more I realized that was silly. Her desire to not have something big sticking off her finger solidified that.

A couple of weeks passed, and Monday I took the day off to do some shopping. I had been looking at Blue Nile a bit, as the guy who sits next to me at work just got his ring from there. You can save a little shopping there, or maybe get a little more for your money, but my experience was that you can't tell just from stats how good a diamond looks. In fact, that was illustrated when I found "the" rock.

Originally I was looking at a .7 carat rated at F for color, and pretty high up in the clarity range. It didn't sparkle the way I though it should though. So the next one I looked at was a .6, a very colorless E, and SI1 in clarity. It looked amazing in the light, having a different depth in the cut than the bigger one. I could actually see the inclusion with the naked eye from one side, but every look from the top was sweet. And this one cost so much less too. I was smitten with it. It would be in The One Ring. I went with platinum.

It was supposed to be mounted by 3 p.m. on Tuesday, but the head they ordered had not come in yet. No worries I thought. Then I had to call them on Wednesday, since they didn't call me, and the bastards were like, "Oh, the head just came in, sorry, we'll have it done soon." I was pissed off about that. Whatever, eventually I picked up Thursday, skipping out of work a little early.

So what to do about giving it to her? I really didn't have anything dramatic in mind. Her best friend Sherry said don't give it to her when she expects it, like on our one year meetiversary or in Orlando or something. Randi at work, a fellow divorcee, said it should be at least somewhat special ("I got mine in a Camry in the rain, and you see how it turned out for me").

Being a Cedar Point dork, and given how that place has been the one consistent thing in my life for the last ten years, that seemed like a good place to give it to her. I guess I wanted it to be special for her too. I have so many good memories there with friends, to the extent that a number of them work there. So the next thing to work out was where.

I actually met Diana on the same day that I first rode Maverick, the media event last year. I briefly toyed with the idea of giving it to her at the end of the ride, but that would be a public spectacle, and who knows if the ride would even stay open long enough (for the record, it seemed to run all evening). The next place I could think of, which included extended alone time, was Giant Wheel. So that was it.

It was a bit cool, and cloudy, which annoyed me, but whatever. Giant Wheel was the first thing we headed to. We were first to load as they went from two tubs per color to four, so that meant they'd roll us all the way to the top to balance the wheel. Perfect. I explained how Cedar Point was the location for so many good things to happen in my life, and I wanted her to have a great memory there too. So what better place to formalize our desire to get married? I asked, obviously she said yes, and I gave her the ring.

Her expression was pretty priceless, because she had no idea it was coming. It was almost a look of terror, but it was closely followed by the squeal she makes whenever we talk about getting married. I think I did OK. :)

It's still hard to believe that this "us" came about so quickly and easily. We both wonder if her mom is orchestrating the whole thing, and especially other events in our lives that are coming together. When you're able to have something this good, you can't help but feel there's a higher power involved.