We were watching a recent episode of Scrubs tonight, where pregnant Elliot is having a freak out with the notion of never finding "normal" after the baby was born, particularly as it relates to her relationship with J.D. Needless to say, that's a pretty hot topic right now at our household.
I've spent a lot of time lately trying to take in the changes in my life, but I haven't thought about it as much with Diana. I tend to think of her as more worldly because of all the moving she's done, and just assume she's more experienced with life in general. Today I realized that having a baby is new territory for her too, duh. That her hormones are getting the best of her, and that she's so uncomfortable, tends to mess with her. Like today, it appears that her navel is bruised. How weird is that?
But more fundamental to Diana's changes, baby or not, is that for the first time in her adult life she isn't working. I think she's spending a lot of time figuring out what gives her a sense of purpose, and it seems to be making her frantic to complete tasks around the house, for the baby, and for me. It's a huge adjustment.
It probably doesn't help that people just love to give advice that, honestly, isn't as universal as they think it is. Yes, we get it that having kids changes "everything," but I still strongly believe that you make choices. I have friends who sent a kid to college this year that I've known for more than ten years, and they have always maintained balance in their relationship, kids, careers and individual interests. It's in stark contrast to friends I've known that have treated their family like a continuous burden and ongoing crisis.
Like so many other things in life, I believe that starting a family is additive in nature, not something that replaces something else. I think that as Diana and I evolve, we'll strike that balance.
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