So Stephanie had to leave this evening to go to a biology conference in downtown Cinci. That sucks for a couple of reasons. The first is that tomorrow is our anniversary, and we won't see each other. The second is that we just had such a great weekend together, and now I'm without her for 36 hours. It fucking sucks.
A part of me is disturbed at being so intensely depressed about the situation. I've been a loner most of my life, and OK with that. Trust me, it's a burden being intensely emotional with just yourself, as I was much of the time I was growing up.
But I'm reminded of the movie Singles, which if you can get past the Seattle grunge fashion of the early 90's, is one of the best movies of my generation. The movie centers around a bunch of people who pursue really fucked up (read: normal) relationships and struggle to figure out how they figure in the big picture of their lives. Toward the end, Bridget Fonda's character tells Steve (Campbell Scott), "People need people, Steve. It has nothing to do with sex."
That seemed incredibly profound to me at the time. I think the reason is that at that point in my life I was searching for the person I wanted to be, and I was really starting to be happy with who I was. I've always felt that you need to love yourself and really be comfortable with yourself before you can love someone else. So when I started to like myself, it was helpful to hear that, yes, it's OK to need and want other people.
This evening, as I listen to some of the 2000 songs I've ripped for my iPod, that holds true. It's OK to be all into someone and need them, because I have the capacity to love myself when I'm alone (I can just hear the masturbation jokes forming in your head).
Enjoy some great quotes from the movie... I think I need to go watch it now.