I think that I'm starting to see that too much of my contentment is wrapped up in excitement for the promise of things in the future. I'm not saying that you shouldn't look forward to things, but it's possible for that focus to swing too far in that direction. It pushes out the ability to appreciate the moment. And what's happening now is a gift, that's why they call it the present.
It's a hard adjustment to make. I know that I'm capable of being present, and sometimes it comes to me in the simplest ways. Sitting next to Diana watching TV, or interacting with one of the cats. My various bits of equipment may not always lead to finished product, but sometimes just touching it, and marveling at what it does, is enjoyable. Sometimes, even sitting outside with my lunch, alone, taking in the blue sky, can make me smile. I don't need to be on vacation to be content (though it sure helps).
Exploring this idea, about feeling content in the moment, also reinforces my theory that "will power" is generally bullshit. People like what they like to do. No amount of mind games with yourself will change that. It's not natural to force yourself to do things that you don't want to do, and it doesn't make you a better person for trying. Stop holding yourself to that standard, because it's not your standard. When it comes to contentment, sure, grownups have to do things they don't want to do, but get that done and get back to the things that make you content right now. You don't get a cookie for acting like you enjoyed doing something that sucks.
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