It's hard to believe that I made it two weeks since my last brain dump of this nature. This one is definitely for me and my desire to record my history, because it's gross and nobody wants to hear this. There is some optimism at the end though.
Sleeping at Puzzoni HQ has been challenging for the last few weeks, in part because of the insomnia, but also because of Simon's chapped ass. I mean, literally, it's a bloody mess. He started taking a supplement that I guess was suggested by his developmental doctor, and as best as we can tell from a visit to his regular doctor's office yesterday, that supplement is the source for a raging itch that quickly got out of control. It might be shellfish derived omega-3's in the supplement. He's now taking some nuclear drug four times a day while we cover him in an ointment to treat it.
I hated the idea of him having to go to a doctor's office, though fortunately no one was there other than staff, and Diana's already made us all masks to help. I feel like a dick because I had largely blown off the scratching as the latest in a long string of ticks and stims that he has had over the years (he picked his arms for a long time, and his fingers and heels are still frequently in bandages). But this was a bona fide allergic reaction, and he couldn't help it.
All this to say that he's been wandering into our room several times a night to complain that he can't sleep, which of course we can't do anything about. Last night he finally slept through the night, but while Diana has been having difficulty regulating her body temperature, I was up obsessing about our outside world exposure clock being reset, thoughts about an acquaintance that's infected, and how I can solve a programming problem in one of my personal projects (that was "for fun").
I also realized that, potentially, my pillows suck. Like a mattress, I think they just kind of get bad over time and you don't realize it. Whatever it is, every video call I had today I didn't recognize the tired person in front of my camera.
Home schooling is in week three now, and this one isn't going well. Diana does get some wins now and then, but it's so hard to concentrate on those when the losses are so hard. Simon still suffers from two fundamental issues: He wants to skip to the answers and not do the work, and he believes he has to get everything right first try. You can imagine how that goes.
We've been flirting with record highs again, so I haven't felt like going outside. I haven't been feeling like doing much of anything after work, probably because selfishly I'm having a self-pity party about not knowing when I can at least go to the beach or something. Then I see coworkers holed-up in a midtown one-bedroom and feel bad for what I feel, which my therapist reminds me is not constructive.
But work is fun, and it's nice to dive into a new puzzle and figure out how you can help. Working for a somewhat bigger company also means that you're constantly meeting new people, though it's a bummer that it will probably be a long time before I meet them in person. The company is based in Manhattan, but my team is mostly everywhere else, coast to coast.
My radio show is still running in Alaska.
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