Rant: We're not some lame 50's couple

posted by Jeff | Wednesday, September 22, 2010, 1:16 PM | comments: 6

Diana worked her entire adult life up until we moved to Seattle. Since my income was/is adequate, she decided to be a stay-at-home mom for an indefinite amount of time, and I'm 100% behind her. While one might consider this "traditional" gender roles, there's nothing more to read into.

That's why I get annoyed when someone suggests on Facebook that she has to check with me to buy something, or otherwise suggest some kind of authority. It annoys me because it implies that I'm some kind of '50s breadwinner dickweed archetype (get me a beer, woman!), and that she's the little obedient homemaker. What year is this?

I trust Diana to use her own judgement and do whatever she thinks is right. It doesn't matter where the money is coming from. That's just how we roll. I'm sorry that some people have relationships that are toxic, not respectful, or otherwise shitty, but don't project that on to us.


Comments

Leo, September 22, 2010, 11:13 PM #

It is likely that the someone(s) you refer to do have some deep seated relationship issues and must project their unhappiness on others to feel OK. Let it bounce. They can face their own devils or not. A lot of comments made on Facebook would be better left unsaid, but people have been preaching silly stuff to others in the hope of "saving" them when they should be looking inward first, long before the internet. F 'em if they don't get it.
BTW, your view of a '50s archtype may be a bit skewed. As dysfuntional as my family may have been, it wasn't anything like you suggest. Dickweeds can be anywhere in any era.

Carrie, September 23, 2010, 6:12 AM #

Or it's possible that's all the facebook woman knows. That could be her "normal", if you will. There's no need to beat the shit out of her for it. It more than likely has not a thing to do with you.

Just be glad you've figured out a way that works better for you.

Tekwardo, September 23, 2010, 6:14 AM #

I never understood why certain people get upset about that kind of thing. If a spouse makes enough money to support the family and the other spouse doesn't have to work, why should they? Especially if the working spouse wants to work and likes what they do.

There are too many people that seem to think that because we're in an era where men and women can go out and work and take care of the fam, that both spouses MUST go out and work, otherwise you're living in the 50s. That, to me, is nonsense.

Jeff, September 23, 2010, 9:48 AM #

I just don't care for the suggestion that there's some kind of hierarchy in the household, that there is an inequality at play. It feels judgmental to me.

Carrie, September 23, 2010, 10:37 AM #

Yeah, I didn't read it that way. She was responding to the suggestion Diana made about being awarded money from the tooth fairy. That money comes from parents. She was suggesting you would provide the "receiving teeth" fare she wanted to receive on behalf of Simon.

Beyond that, I think you're reading way into it.

Leo, September 23, 2010, 2:26 PM #

Just to be clear, I was commenting on postings in general that imply judgement toward another's behavior. I will allow that the post in question was more likely an attempt at humor, but I do see Jeff's point. Facebook is a social network .. let's all be sociable and sensitive to others. On the other hand, if someone is really behaving badly let it be. They can't hurt you and most will see their behavior as counter productive and ignore it. What can be taken from this particular string for sure is that a) The Tooth Fairy was never intended to replace full time employment and b) Starbuck's, while good, is a bit pricey.


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