I went to see my counselor for the first time since before Stephanie and I decided to go forward with the dissolution (neither one of us can still say "divorce" because it sounds so unpleasant and evil).
First off, let me dispel a myth that some of my friends can't get over. Seeing a counselor or therapist doesn't mean you're psycho, broken, or generally fucked up. They aren't people there to belittle you, tell you that you're wrong, or tell you what to do. They certainly aren't there to judge you. They serve one purpose: To professionally help you understand why you are the way you are, and how you can best deal with your state or change it.
So anyway, we spent a good deal of time today exploring my personality type as it relates to my unhappiness in career. Basically, we believe that I'm more of an idea person than anything, and it's hard for me to execute those ideas into material and tangible things. There are moments of inspiration though, often created by others, where I can quickly start to create, but if the moment passes, I tend to think "screw it" and move on to something else to ponder. This has been especially true with my own personal business projects.
Paired with this is my need to not be caged, as he put it. I don't like rigid structure, like normal business hours. That's ironic of course, because it's the very thing that would theoretically help me execute on my ideas. It's not that I disrespect authority or loathe it as much as I don't want its structure imposed on me. That's why consulting work is/was such a good fit for me.
The moments of inspiration thing made perfect sense though. I enjoy coaching because leading others and seeing them develop, tapping into that need to nurture, brings me a lot of satisfaction, and indeed a lot of validation. When that's not a part of what I'm doing, I get bored with it, and I don't execute.
So it's nice to have a good foundation and jumping off point. Something to really think about until next time.
Ever thought you may have Attention Deficit Disorder? You describe quite a few of the symptoms. The real symptoms, not the 'My kid is hyper and doesn't pay attention in school' symptoms that parents use to get Ritalin for their Hyperactive children. Hyperactivity may or may not accompany ADD.
And adults can most certainly carry over ADD. Does your sense of time not conform to other people's sense of time? Do you spend hours and hours doing one simple thing that brings you pleasure like gaming or television without realizing it, just for stimulation?
Not as different as you may think. If someone is disinterested, then they're not likely to pay attention.
"Basically, we believe that I'm more of an idea person than anything, and it's hard for me to execute those ideas into material and tangible things. There are moments of inspiration though, often created by others, where I can quickly start to create, but if the moment passes, I tend to think "screw it" and move on to something else to ponder."
A telling sign of Attention Deficit.