Having the time off between gigs has been really excellent for me as a father. Simon can certainly be a handful at times, but he's a very cute handful that happens to be very affectionate toward me. It's a worthy trade.
While there are certain things about Simon that push my buttons, mostly on the subject of how he eats, I'm surprised at how seriously I take this whole fatherhood thing. I'm really into it, and the little man trumps almost everything except for marriage. I want to be a father figure, a mentor, a provider and someone he looks up to. It feels like a very heavy responsibility, and it's a weight I did not expect.
Our tourist activities in our last two or three weeks in Washington were super fun. I love how he takes in the world with such joy and curiosity. There's a big personality coming out of this little person, and I wish I could be there more to see it. As it is, I'm absolutely militant about making sure that I have a little bit of time with him every day. That's why I've kept earlier work hours since he was born, because I want to be present every day, not just on weekends.
I'm sure it's going to get harder as time goes on. When I have to tell him no or discipline him, he'll probably be pissed at me and say hurtful things. That's the part of parenthood I don't look forward to. But right now, even with the hard parts, it's amazing how much love he has for us. It's completely different from adult relationships, and totally unconditional. Sounds like I'm talking about a puppy!
No comments yet.