Sometimes it really is hard

posted by Jeff | Saturday, June 12, 2010, 9:47 PM | comments: 0

I've had a number of messages from people since Simon was born, thanking me for posting honest confessionals about what parenthood and relationships are like. Most interesting to me is the range, from a college classmate my own age, to someone much younger who isn't married but looks forward to having a family. I'm glad that someone is getting something out of it other than me!

And I will say that this parenthood thing is hard sometimes, even for a couple like us. I would describe us as highly functional compared to most couples, but we're not perfect. Our life experience does a lot to shape how we handle ourselves, and issues can creep up as you go.

One of the things that's difficult now is figuring out how to be good providers without melting down. My biggest concerns are of course financial, since we're essentially starting over (if I can ever sell my house). I honestly don't get too stressed out about it, but it does wear on me a bit. Diana's stress comes from worrying too much, about everything, and she doesn't verbalize it enough. Coupled with her strong reaction to Simon's crying and need to complete as many housewife-ish tasks as possible, she gets pushed pretty hard. That can unintentionally lead to resentment toward me, so we have to constantly keep that out in the open. You can imagine how bad it gets when you're tired and exhausted.

We do our best to prop each other up. Some things are getting easier with time, other things are getting harder. The key is to really check in with each other as often as possible. That's hard at times, when she's pushed to her limit on one of Simon's crabby days, and I'm brain-fried from work.


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