I've spent a lot of time lately thinking, "Well, how did I get here?" (No, this has not involved any bad chroma key.) When I look at the world lately, it feels a lot more fucked up than it ever has. Whether that's actually the case or not, and I have no idea how one objectively measures that, is hard to say. There is just so much hate in the world, and it bums me out.
In so many ways, I got lucky. It's a fundamental truth that we are in many ways a product of our environment. I could have been born and raised to be something completely different. We're afraid to admit it, but our religion and even our patriotism are not things that we chose. We adopt them because they were given to us. We don't like to admit this, or challenge it, because it's not just our beliefs we're talking about, these are things that are core to our very identity. Not only do we fear questioning who we are, but what others might think.
Think about that for a minute. If those are things predetermined by the place of our birth, it's no wonder that the evolution of humanity is so slow. It explains how we could rationalize slavery or follow Hitler. As I approach midlife, I realize that experience can help us challenge what we learned the first 20 years of our lives, but only if we have resolved to question everything about ourselves and the world. What's worse is that it seems people seem to get more set with age, clinging to what they know, instead of seeking greater breadth in their experience.
Am I any different? I hope so, but I don't know for sure. My experience thus far, tied to my profession, has exposed me to diversity in ways that I would not have had otherwise. I've embraced this amazing world of different cultures and religions, and I don't have the time or desire to hate on people like that. Where I struggle is what to do about people who can't be like this. They have to hate on someone, because to not do so would question their sense of identity.
Optimistic (and probably naive) me believes people like that will eventually be left behind while the rest of the world rises above it. It makes sense then to not throw my arms up and give up, but to focus energy on what can be changed, what can move humanity forward. I'm not sure that there is any other choice.
Maybe other people are well suited to changing minds. I don't think I am. I get so frustrated with people who choose to be ignorant. I'm going to try to make a more concerted effort to focus on what good I can do, no matter how small or large the scale is. That's constructive use of my time.
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