I had dinner with a friend tonight who has some relationship issues. Granted, she's much younger than I am, but I find it remarkable that the issues she is encountering are not really any different from those we encounter at any age. It all seems so obvious to me, but you never see it when you're in the thick of it.
"It" is of course the need to be happy independent of anyone else and, maybe even more importantly, identify when the other person in the relationship is in some way manipulating you. And I don't just mean intimate or romantic relationships, but also those involving family and friends.
In every case, you can see that people will make each other miserable, with one usually being manipulative in some way. It goes back to a book I read last summer where the true feelings people have are never said, and the resulting snowball effect makes things implode. The book talked about saying what you feel, and responding by saying how hearing that makes you feel. You do that back and forth enough and the theory goes that you can reach the underlying problem at the most fundamental level.
The big question I suppose is whether or not you can overcome that potential for discomfort, and realize that the discomfort sure beats the utter tragedy that could come after more time has passed.
They should pass out a book explaining this shit about the time puberty hits.