I was talking to a friend today about how one has to make a conscious decision to be happy. I augmented the discussion when I mentioned how being around Simon and his countless giggles made me laugh. It seems so easy when you're a little person and not burdened with the world. (Granted, a puzzle you can't solve can also send you into meltdown at that age, so I suppose there are tradeoffs.) What happens to us that we lose that easy happiness?
In a nutshell, it's the heaping piles of negativity that you encounter. It comes from all angles. I was stewing much of the evening about my previously-blogged business issues. Sometimes, stupid things at work wear me down. Other times, it's dealing with insurance companies or some other business with whom you're supposedly a customer. Don't even get me started about political nonsense. Sometimes even Simon's negative behavior can get to me, for no other reason than he's being a toddler.
There are a lot of ways we cope with all of that toxicity, often with rainbows and puppies, but there are times when it just keeps mounting in a steaming pile of shit. It's those times that I tend to check out mentally. My interest in doing much of anything disappears, and it becomes really hard to engage. It doesn't happen very often, but it's an ugly state to be in, that for me only causes additional self-loathing.
Fortunately, for a lot of people, just getting on to the next day is enough to snap out of it. That usually works for me, as does a great song, good weather, or more and more, interactions with Simon. I think it's important to understand though that some people need more than that, especially if they suffer from depression.
Tonight I sat around checking Facebook over and over again, because I had one of those days. As I wrap this up and think about going to bed, one of my cats is purring loudly beside me, and tomorrow looks like a sunny day. Some of my issues will linger, but I'll move on. At the end of the day, what other choice do we have?
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