The hot tub dilemma

posted by Jeff | Sunday, March 11, 2007, 1:20 AM | comments: 10

After my post about the summer luau, several Fishers suggested that I should really have a hot tub. To be quite honest, I haven't thought about buying one in years. I remember Stephanie and I looked at them shortly after we moved into the house, but never acted on it (good thing too since I got laid-off later that year).

I could certainly afford one these days, but I have all these dirty and negative feelings about the idea of having one. First, as Cath said, it's a "babe magnet." Seeing as how I'm currently looking, I don't want the lure of such a device interfering with who I am to a woman. I want potential dates to like me for me.

Related to that, it seems like such a sleazy bachelor thing to have. I'm not saying that couples and married people don't have them. I guess I've just heard too many stories of nasty things going on in them, and for some reason I associate them with that.

Then there's the issue of it being totally self-indulgent. While I do like to buy nice stuff that I'll use (like furniture and computers), this is an object that no human being needs ever. It's a total luxury item. I could spend that money on any of a hundred different things more worthy, or give some of it to charity.

Listen to me... what the hell would make me feel guilty like that? I guess I have more issues than I thought! My first thought if I get one isn't that I'll treasure that first dip in there, but rather that I'll have to give extra money to the Red Cross this year to cancel out the guilt.

I suppose that if I was sitting in one right this moment, I wouldn't have having any of these thoughts.


Carrie, March 11, 2007, 5:51 AM #

My two cents...

I personally wouldn't be drawn to a man due to his hot tub. I have a fear of water, though, so I have issues that way. But, regardless, it isn't likely I would hang with a guy for any toys he may own, magnetic or not.

I'd like to think that you would be able to identify if someone were just using you for your hot tub. Someone as shallow as that would probably express themselves in other ways, too, that might clue you in. I'm thinking that Catherine was just being playful in her commentary.

As for the guilt factor, that is always a struggle when spending on oneself. There is nothing wrong with being self-indulgent. The challenge becomes finding the balance between that and giving back to the greater good. Cut yourself a break. Your young once and there is always time for giving back and you will, if it is truly a priority for you.

Tekno, March 11, 2007, 6:24 AM #

I look at it this way:

I'll never, ever ever need to eat another piece of chocolate. Why do I do it? I enjoy it (even if I am contemplating being Vegan, but I am more the dark chocolate and not really a milk chocolate kind of guy). I don't feel guilty because that would be masochistic.

It's healthy and normal to do totally indulgent things. If it weren't, we wouldn't enjoy things, we'd simply do what we had to do and nothing else!

Catherine, March 11, 2007, 6:06 PM #

Yeah, I was totally being playful. Like I said, the guys relationship with his dog impressed me more than any of the material things. HOW-EVER, having said that I must also say that I now look for a man who has his shit together financially. No matter what we might say about it being shallow, when you get to my age it says something about your life in general that you are able to achieve some balance and take care of yourself. And I don't think this makes me shallow, I think it makes me smart.

Tekno, March 11, 2007, 6:26 PM #

And as for things that are considered 'babe magnets', really, I hope Jeff wouldn't be looking for the kind of girl a hot tub would impress.

Carrie, March 11, 2007, 6:46 PM #

I don't think it is shallow at all to look for a mate who has his shit together financially. That is completely different than dating someone because of the cool things they buy or own. Having an eye on the bigger picture of a relationship and what it would entail (financially, emotionally, communicatively, etc) is a sign of maturity.

Joe, March 12, 2007, 3:43 AM #

I have a hot tub, but I haven't had time to fire it up. It came with the house, and I bought it just before winter, so there was no rush to fill it. Perhaps this week or next.

That being said, I can definitely see the sleaze factor in it. But I would never bring a prospective date home that quickly to use it to tempt her to date me. Maybe I'm old fashioned. I don't know.

Another (slightly) possible negative connotation could be due to it's association to the ex (as mentioned in the first paragraph of this post), but that's a hypothesis. I don't know you well, so I won't even presume it's a valid thought.

Jeff, March 12, 2007, 3:46 AM #

I don't have any negative associations with her, actually. We might not be together, but what I remember about her is mostly positive.

Joe, March 12, 2007, 2:07 PM #

I figured that, Jeff, but a lot of people I know carry negative thoughts or associations towards their exes. I figured it wasn't very plausible after what you had said in passing regarding it at BeastBuzz last year.

Tekno, March 12, 2007, 11:10 PM #

"I don't think it is shallow at all to look for a mate who has his shit together financially."

I don't know if that was directed at my response, but I was agreeing with you, just in case you didn't think I was :).

Carrie, March 13, 2007, 12:23 AM #

Nope, it was in reference to Catherine's. I was afraid somehow she thought I was calling her shallow.

We're good. :-)

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