I'm annoyed with myself. There are a number of things that I want to accomplish that I'm just not. I want to blame starting a day job, but that's bullshit because I didn't do these things when I wasn't working. I get so angry at myself for this. In my mind, these are things that excite me, and yet when I have the opportunity to do them, I slack off and loaf.
So here's a list of things I'd like to do that aren't happening because I'm a slacker. Sure, some of them are bigger things than other, but they're things I want to do.
- Launch a new blog. This one should be easy since the software is 90%, and I just need to skin it. I won't say what the topic is, but it's for a topic that would be fun to write about, and that I partially write about anyway. I don't know if I'll make any money from it, but it would serve as a creative outlet. Kinda like this blog, only sans the personal and emotional shit.
- Finish the new POP Forums. This one has been haunting me for a very long time, and it's seriously critical because it will be the foundation of the next CoasterBuzz. Truth be told, it's in OK shape, but I need to focus and prioritize and make it happen.
- Finish, or rather restart and finish, reading Head First Design Patterns. That's a book that, not surprisingly, teaches object-oriented programming design patterns. Not having a formal academic background in computer science, this is one of the last bigger picture things that I can use every day that I don't have a really firm grasp on. That troubles me, and I want to change it. Yeah, it's technically a Java book, but that's close enough for C# people.
- Write another screenplay. I wrote my first screenplay in early 2004. While I think the idea behind the plot was novel, it wasn't well written. I want to write something a little less me and a little more imagination.
- Make a movie. I want to translate that screenplay into an actual movie. Film is the last form of media for me. I've either had a job or otherwise made money working in every other form of media... radio, TV, newspaper, magazine, Internet... only film remains.
Most of these aren't really insurmountable and huge tasks. I just beat myself up for not doing this stuff. Life is short, and I feel like I piss it away. I don't want to feel like that anymore.