Do you remember that Britney Spears special that MTV ran back in December? We DVR'd it but never got around to watching it until tonight. It wasn't really as big of a deal as I think people hoped, but at least she was forthcoming in the reason for doing it, that being she needed some positive PR.
I will say that I was surprised to see how really her problems aren't any different from anyone else, it's just that the magnitude of her mistakes are amplified by her fame. She has had to grow up in public where her mistakes are headlines.
Her biggest mistakes, clearly, were in her relationship choices. She said the Justin breakup was difficult, and the K-Fed divorce was even worse because she had kids with him. What makes me think that she's doomed to repeat this is that she said fame can push her into loneliness, and that when she's in love, she's all in. Those seem like two things that will ultimately lead to more suffering.
I can actually relate to that (not the fame part), because even being in a dysfunctional relationship creates a certain high that leaves an enormous hole when it's gone. You want to plug that hole in whatever way you can, even if it comes at the expense of your own well-being.
We were having a discussion about this over the weekend, about identifying the compromise you make in your relationships, and the point at which it's not worth it. It seems like with each relationship you have, and subsequently lose, you better understand the things you do that sell yourself short for the sake of occupying that relationship slot. That, in turn, causes you to wonder when you really "know" if your ideals are being satisfied.
I'm not sure if you ever truly know this, because the variables involved between any two people are vast in number. I think culturally we're expected to believe that significant compromise is the only way a relationship can work, and I think that's horrifying. It makes me sad that I've engaged in relationships, really going back to college, where there was drama and contempt, all the while convincing myself (as Britney does) that everything is super, and that I'm happy with how things are. I don't regret those times, but wish I didn't have to endure them to understand what a truly functional relationship is supposed to be today.
Certainly, with a second shot at marriage, I had to be damn sure that I wasn't making compromises, and I don't think that I am. In fact, I find myself thinking I should be short-circuiting my own beliefs and ideals at times, only to find Diana telling me not to. Those are the only assurances I have to know that I'm getting it right, because my own bias may always prevent me from seeing things entirely as they are. That's a lesson learned from lots of counseling as well.
Who knew? We're all a little like Britney.
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