I had a breakthrough of sorts at counseling Monday, actually during the drive afterward. It's not something that I think will help make me a better person or anything, but it really helps me understand my personality.
Toward the end of the session, he started to ask me a bit about my film making aspirations. I described the scene for him from my brief visit to Allentown a few weekends ago. We went to see Catherine's brother, and several of his friends came up from DC. All of these guys grew up in a really scary place, and most of their peers and relatives did not get out without jail, illegitimate kids, etc. The one guy though, he was an amazing story teller, and I though, this guy would be great in a short indie film, just telling the old stories. I was fascinated by it all.
When I started my drive to work, I thought a little about what my first screenplay was about, about screenplay ideas, and the movies that I like the most. It occurred to me at that point that they're all coming of age stories. That's when I had the moment of clarity, so to speak.
I'm obsessed with the process of growing up. I used to think that was something you did in your teens and twenties, but I guess that if I've learned anything in the last year, it's that the process never ends for the self-aware. The constant learning, making mistakes, the evolution... it's a fascinating process. I think about it all of the time.
And it also explains a lot about my personality and what I like to do. I coach because I help kids in that evolution in some way. I have a lot of younger friends because they're in the toughest part of the process, and seeing them evolve helps me understand myself better. I like Cameron Crowe movies because they're all about coming of age.
Like I said, nothing particularly amazing about the realization, I just understand how I "add up" more than I did before.